To be back there from here

On Monday I was back home. I was back in England from the corner of my room in Spain. I was back to them. I suppose that somehow I was also back to me. I was back and it was different because I had already returned during these thirteen months, and when switching off the laptop it remained the frustration of taking decisions without thinking enough about them.

I was back in those early days when it was hard for me to understand English. I was back in those days when I discovered that I could follow all those conversations. I was back in those early days when we experienced Zoom exhaustion. I was back in those days when nothing else matters but to enjoy the session with them. I was back and when switching off the laptop there was "just" the happiness of being volunteering again with them.

Yesterday in the morning I was talking with another volunteer and we discovered that both of us were walking for hours on Friday thinking about the endings. We came to the same conclusion: even if we don´t realize it, we have changed everything, and WE are the ones who have made everything to change, for the bad points and especially for the good ones. And that's something to be proud of even when it´s hard to close that door.

In the afternoon, I had the opportunity to be online again on my organization. They were there, in the office where I spent so much time. And I could hear the noise of the session. I spoke again in English not afraid of all my mistakes but feel really happy. I was back in that January when, without thinking too much about it, I decided to apply for a volunteer placement that I didn´t know so much about. I was back and when switching off the laptop, the screen was lighting.