It started biting her brain slowly, entering into the unconscious, and woking her up in the early morning without a logical reason. She was still involved in the routine, happy.
It came down into her stomach, a constant trembling scratching all the time and no name. She tried to link it with being hungry or have eaten too much food, maybe it was a confused butterfly fluttering.
Pale skin and weakness took the control of her body. She mentioned not being able to sleep because of the summer heat sailing in the opposite way to asking for help.
It was scarfing her. The minutes turned into eternal hours and nights were bringing back her childhood´s nightmares. It was like a sponge absorbing her energy. She refused every conversation related to the situation denying the constant nervousness.
With holidays it seemed to have it in pause, forgetting it in a corner like the coveralls. It was just for a couple of days. The balance was broken without prior warning; it grabbed her chest changing her breath into a deathly whisper.
All of a sudden, the help came too, like a conversation that started with an ordinary topic and ended up caressing the bug. It was the beginning but that wasn´t enough. The solution was inside of her, and it was not just to recognize and the point the exit, was also about looking for tamers to help her guiding it at her emotions maze.
It might be called anxiety, depression, or any other type of pain and agony, at the end of the day, it was pressure under the brain that was shouting to be treated as seriously as it was. Over time, it was going to add a lot to the balance of learnings: about oneself and own limits, about the bug and how to scare it, about the people around who is supportive, about what is it life and what do we want it to be.
08-04-2020
